One of my favorite passages from Jane Eyre (I'm reading it again right now)

This is what Helen says to Jane when she has just been humiliated by Mr. Brocklehurst:

Hush, Jane! you think too much of the love of human beings; you are too impulsive, too vehement; the sovereign hand that created your frame, and put life into it, has provided you with other resources than your feeble self, or than creatures feeble as you. Besides this earth, and besides the race of men, there is an invisible world and a kingdom of spirits: that world is round us, for it is everywhere; and those spirits watch us, for they are commissioned to guard us; and if we were dying in pain and shame, if scorn smote us on all sides, and hatred crushed us, angels see our tortures, recognise our innocence, and God waits only the separation of spirit from flesh to crown us with a full reward. Why, then, should we ever sink overwhelmed with distress, when life is so soon over, and death is so certain an entrance to happiness- to glory?

my blog pal Sallie had her baby!

This is the lady I mentioned a while back...she and her husband went through years and years of infertility, but they always praised the Lord, choosing to be submissive to His will, and they just INSPIRE me to pieces and I'm so stinkin' happy that they have been blessed with a child. And she's a punkin'!

http://agracioushome.com/?p=743

update on my owie

So my MRI showed that I do, indeed, have a herniated disk. Or disc. Still not sure how it's spelled. Anyway, it's the disk between my L5 and my S1 vertebrae. If that means anything to anyone. Apparently, 90% of people who herniate a disk herniate this same one! I'm a bit surprised at myself, honestly. The illnesses and injuries that I sustain are usually atypical!

Anyway, the good doctor recommends lots of rest, painkillers, steroids, and when I'm up to it, some gentle stretching and exercises. He says it's not bad enough for surgery. YET. And I quote. So I've decided to be a very good girl and do all the resting required of me because back surgery appeals to me NOT AT ALL.

However, I must record a slight complaint. The back pain is quite wretched, yes, but I could put up with it easily enough if it weren't for all the accompanying inconveniences. For example: I can't bend to dry my legs after a shower. I need assistance with underwear, pants, socks, shoes and getting out of the bathtub. If I drop something, I stare at it for a long while, pondering a painless way to retrieve said object, and then usually decide to live without said object. If I turn, bend, move, or even gesture in just the wrong way, pain shoots through my back and my face reflects it in this automatic grimace-face-thing that I can't control. So now I probably appear to have a twitch disorder. Lovely.

I guess the good thing is that lying around prone for hours at a time requires some form of entertainment for this restless mind. And I can tolerate only so much TV/movies, and I like to read books in chunks, not straight through in one sitting. And I've done every crossword in the house. So what's a laid-up girl supposed to do??? SUDOKU. Yes, I'm now addicted. I used to pooh-pooh the latest trend in brain games as "too numbery" for me -- I like to stick to letters and words, more my forte -- but I decided to give a puzzle a whirl and I finally solved my first one last night. Which is only going to feed this addiction, since I now feel capable of something numbery! Yee-haw! And in the interest of sharing (ie, trying to get others hooked on my latest craze), here's a website where you can generate a PDF of up to 4 puzzles on one page, print it off, snuggle in bed, and work your little grey cells!

ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch

How I'm feeling:



















What I probably have:

What my symptoms are (and this is the prettied-up WebMD version):

• Sharp pain in the back, sometimes going down the back of one or both legs, immediately upon or shortly after exertion or injury.
• Inability to bend or straighten your back, accompanied by severe pain.
• Gradual development of neck or lower-back pain, possibly intense on arising or when sneezing or coughing.
• Numbness or tingling in an arm or leg, and possibly a progressive loss of strength in one or both legs.

What we're going to do about it this afternoon:

and just in case you haven't seen enough Eli pix

toasting Elijah's arrival...

I was seized by inspiration when we discovered that Sarah didn't have any wine glasses...




















then some of us got out of control...















the carnage...














some families laugh when they get drunk together. My family laughs when we fake getting drunk together. What a lot of goobers we are.

is this what you see in your backseat?

In the foreground is Elijah's car seat. So yeah...that's FOUR carseats in ONE van. I can honestly say I've never seen a car sporting 4 carseats.

Official Mancilla Life Update

It’s hard to believe how the month of May seemed like yesterday, but also light years ago. On May 16th, we put our house up for sale (very odd and ironic, considering it was also May 16th that we closed on that house in 2005!). Anyway, many good and well-thought-out reasons went into that particular decision, not the least of which was Adam’s ongoing employment issues, and probably the greatest of which was our dream to be part-time missionaries to Guatemala and the expenses that would require of us. It was not an easy decision for me (if you know me at all, you know that I am a “nester” – I find great comfort in the haven that is our home), but I felt God challenging me to let go of my grip on the things of this world and all its material possessions and the sense of identity and security that we falsely draw from them… In any case, I submitted to this challenge and agreed to put the house up for sale, knowing as long as I had Adam, I could make a comfy home for us wherever God called us to go. The Lord gave me lots of reassurance on this and I even began to be excited by the adventure of it all!

Well, 4 months, 1 open house, about 30 showings, and about 20 walk-throughs of other properties up for sale later, we re-evaluated. And we saw that God has opened the door for us to stay right where we are, on Christopher Court! God generously provided in the employment department and although we are still paycheck-to-paycheck (it’s hard to imagine a time where we won’t be), we are capable of meeting our mortgage obligations each month. In fact, it became very clear to us that it’s less expensive (for now at least) to just stay put. So, that’s what we’re doing. For the time being, my home is still my home and I’m thrilled that it is so. I’ve pondered the possible reasons for the urgency we felt back in the spring to put our house on the market, and I’ve concluded that we simply could have been facing a test. Perhaps God wanted to make us consider just how much we’d be willing to sacrifice in order to be obedient to His call!

And speaking of His call…it looks like we are Guatemala-bound in December! We had a meeting with our other part-time missionary friends on Saturday night, and we have heard from our brothers and sisters in Guatemala of several needs that we can help meet in the month of December. We will be gone for a week again, but hopefully we can accomplish a whole lot in that time. We’re also going to begin planning our spring-break trip down, as well. Very exciting, but very intimidating as well, since Adam and I will once again be faced with airfare and hotel and incidental costs associated with the trip. And it’s NOT a cheap trip to take! The missions committee at church will help somewhat, but we will have to raise money or save all our pennies or both. We are starting to think about fundraising ideas, so if anyone has brilliant ideas in that department, we’d love to hear ‘em!

In the meantime, I can’t begin to express the real sense of blessing I feel each and every day to have the home that we have, and to also be so involved in the ministry that is dearest to our hearts as a couple. I’ve been smiling a lot lately…I have so much to be thankful for. With the birth of Elijah, my family feels rich and full of beautiful and amazing people. With the coming of autumn, life feels full of wonderful times to come and beautiful memories yet to be made. It really does feel like harvest-time!

more Eli pix

my favorite picture! Last night I was holding Eli and Abby asked to sit with me and I thought, uh-oh, this won't go so well, but she shocked us all when she sat on my leg and put her arm around her baby brother. She snuggled up to him and into the crook of my neck and seemed content! It's surprising because when she first saw him, she said "baby" and then burst into tears!

so very, very tiny in that big car seat!

cuddles with mama




















Even after 3 days of taking care of the other 3 grand-kiddos, Nanna and Pa-Pa still battle each other for holding rights!




















going home finally (see my Tigger balloon, Aunt Mobey?)

featuring my first guest blogger!

Hi! My name is Elijah Luke and today, September 13th, is my birthday! I came into the world at the wee early hour of 4:50 AM. I was very reluctant to leave my mama (my aunt will tell you more about this later...), so excuse my appearance in this picture of being quite angry at the world for extracting me from my cozy coccoon!















I didn't like all the poking and prodding but they insisted on weighing me and measuring me at 7 pounds, 8 ounces and 20.5 inches long. When I finally got a diaper on my tush and a hat on my noggin', I felt a little bit better. And then I opened my eyes a teeny bit and saw how amazing my world was, so I decided to kick back and get to know it better!















My auntie has LOTS of stories to tell, but I think we're all going to call it a day and get some much-needed sleep. More about me later! 'Til then, nighty-night and sleepy-tight!

it's E-Day

This is it, the day is here! Sarah is getting admitted to the hospital as I type this. Today is Elijah's birthday unless he decides to make his mama stick it out for 12+ hours of labor (wouldn't recommend that, little buddy). I'm working right now (or at least attempting to) and as soon as my 5:00 whistle blows, I'm outty! Going straight to the maternity ward to see Sar, and I've told her that she'd better have her epidural by then (you wouldn't want to see Sar in labor without that blessed drug) or I wouldn't be sticking around for very long! I plan on spending the night at St. Francis, either keeping awake with my family awaiting the arrival (it's a tradition that sometimes involves endless games of Uno) or sleeping on the couch/cot thingey (it doesn't dare to be called a "bed" in my presence) in Sar's room with her (again, another tradition). Thank the Lord I got great sleep last night and the slight touch of allergies/cold I've had isn't so bad this morning. It's gonna be a long one, kids!

If you're reading this today, please say a prayer for my sissy and her baby. Sarah told me this morning that she's nervous. I guess even after 3 other babies, there's still nothing routine about giving birth! Early this morning, I sat in my rocking chair in my bedroom, watching the rain pour, sipping coffee, and having a good talk with God...I asked for courage for all. And the thought occurred to me that it's 1 body becoming 2 bodies, and how it truly is a MIRACLE, the way humans reproduce. How can a person doubt the marvels of God's creative genius when you really think about how conception and birth happen? I praise the Lord for His wonders and I beseech His grace and mercies on mama and baby today, and I give thanks for that incredible first moment when they will get to finally meet each other after all these months.

take a deep breath

Ahh...Autumn.

The weather in Indiana has certainly made its official turn toward cooler. We have been sleeping with the windows wide open at night and I always sleep very deeply and peaceful when breathing in cool fresh air. The best part? The horrid humidity has taken its annual hike outta dodge and I couldn't be happier about that!

I pasted this print image here not just cuz it's purdy, but to be an inspiration to me and Adam...we are going to buy a couple of canvases and PAINT together, either this weekend or next. I'm beyond frustration with trying to find lovely and inexpensive wall art for our house, so we're resorting to making our own. I'll let you all know how it goes!

Baby Watch '06 UPDATE: Sarah has been given an official date for delivery! She is scheduled for Tuesday morning at 11 to get hooked up to a big bag of Pitocin and get this little man Eli here! That is, if it doesn't happen spontaneously this weekend (which I'm still thinking is more likely)!!! I'm so excited...Tuesday is my normal day off and then I'll take Wednesday off to hang out with the recovering mama and hog...er, hold my nephew! I'm sure Sar feels like a prisoner about to be freed (NOT that being pregnant is some form of punishment; not saying that AT ALL). It's just that this is her last baby, and she'll have 4 kids aged 4 and under after Tuesday, so you can easily do the math and figure out she's been pregnant for almost 5 years straight. I can't wait for her to feel the relief that I know she'll feel! And me too!

Anyway, just really looking forward to all the wonderful things that this month has in store: a new baby in our family, cool weather, leaves turning, fun stuff!

Baby Watch '06

Yeah, you guessed it alright. My sis has still not gone into labor. I can't believe tomorrow is September 7th, and she is due September 20th, and the baby isn't here! And believe me, she is enormously pregnant. I'm not saying that in a bad way at all...she is just very very round and just watching her walk makes onlookers uncomfortable, she is that obviously miserable. I just hope this baby is not a whopper like his big brother was...Sarah doesn't NEED a longer recovery time (from an extended labor/delivery) with 3 other kids at home waiting for her to bounce back!

She has a doctor's appt. on Friday and I have a very good feeling that Dr. Ensley will send her to the hospital if there is even just an inkling of "action" going on...and put her on a Pitocin drip to get this show on the road! But Sarah is -- believe it or not -- not quite amenable to that. Ada's first dance class is on Saturday morning and she refuses to miss it. Even to have a baby and all the relief that will come with his arrival. Heck, I will be relieved when her little one is on the outside of her big ole belly!!!

So, here we are, with an official countdown of 12-ish days, and my money is on Saturday afternoon...

it's a BIG world after all

this little graphic shows the countries I've visited. The little blip to the right is the UK, the little blip on the mid/lower left is Guatemala. The big red spot encompasses all of the US and Canada, and even though I've been to Canada and a good 50% of the States, I don't even deserve all the red that you see.

I've always wanted to be a world traveler. I've got a lot more ground to cover!

Want to make your own map? Go here: http://douweosinga.com/projects/visitedcountries

ARGH!

This is me.




















This is what I've been thinking about:

T-Total depravity
U-Unconditional election
L-Limited atonement
I-Irresistible grace
P-Perseverance of the saints


This is me, thinking about what I've been thinking about.

new pals

clowning with new friends Emily and Conrad (don't know if he was going for the vampire look there?). We loves 'em. Conrad is a supergeek like Adam, and Emily's getting her degree in English. Need I say more?

random September

wouldn't that make a great band name?

In any case, it's how I'm feeling these days. Slowly but surely transitioning to fall, but since it's technically not here yet, it seems like cheating somehow? And random, well, the following is random.

I've been on a cleaning and organizing frenzy. Katers came over today and helped me clean out the big closet in the master bedroom. Adam let me buy a very purdy shoe organizer from Target (where else?) last week, which I promptly filled and now stand in need of another one! We put a tall dresser in there (yes, my closet is actually a small room and not really a closet per se...there's actually scope for the imagination in there), and I also bought 2 small jewelry organizer/caddy things for drawers. So, Katie and I sorted through all my jewelry and all my clothes...even down to my socks and tights. She even worked out knots in necklaces and coolly assessed my rear end in all of my jeans (anything that made me resemble a country-line-dancin' girl had to be tossed to the give-away pile...). So, I now have a closet that is arranged a) by season (only 2 seasons in my closet: warm weather and cold weather) then b) by function (work/church, casual/play) then c) by type (shirts, trousers, you get the idea). I feel ridiculously organized now. The best part about it is I actually know what I own, how it fits, and what I can pair it with. I'll probably actually wear all of my clothes now!!!

Hmmm, what else? Oh, watched "You've Got Mail" today. It's one of autumn's must-see movies (even though it celebrates all the seasons in New York City, I've always associated it with fall...?). Are there other must-see movies for fall? Please, do tell.

Took food over to Angie's house yesterday (she is recovering quite nicely from surgery) and she was burning a cinnamon candle on her stove and I think I could have drank the wax, it smelled THAT good. Does anyone have any good-but-cheap cinnamon/pumpkin/harvest-y candle suggestions? I don't want to spend the gross national product of a third world country on a Yankee candle, much as I love 'em. (Tell you what, I'm getting miserly in my old age...)

Speaking of old age, it has really begun to sink in that I'm turning 30 in 4 months. Everyone I know who has crossed over that great divide assures me that being 30+ is quite grand and that I won't even miss my twenties. Sorry, but I remain skeptical of that. I already miss my twenties and I'm still hanging on to 29 for dear life.

...and the randomness has only just begun...

Sarah's baby is still not here. She is technically due in 17 days, but Sarah ALWAYS goes at least 10-15 days early with her kids since the 2-foot-tall, 11-pound wonder (Ethan) made his appearance back in the day. Docs just don't want a 5'5" woman delivering half-grown children for some odd reason. Sar has been having contractions, but is ignoring them because, and I quote: "I've got 2 sick kids, I have no time to deliver a baby right now." I would love it if she gave birth on Labor Day...what a fun and ironic way to celebrate a birthday! Abby has New Year's Eve as her birthday, and we always tell her that the whole world celebrates another year of her life! Anyway, who knows? Maybe I'll be blogging about a brand-new baby boy by Monday's end...

Oh yeah, one other thing. I need a book recommendation. I'm finishing up the "Mark of the Lion" series by Francine Rivers (which I simply adored and will miss), and I'm not ready to jump back into my British history non-fiction stuff (where I spend a good portion of my reading time). I need a good piece of fiction, preferably set somewhere other than the Mediterranean in the 1st century AD (where M of the L is set).

Well, I think that's it for now. Adam is in Michigan this weekend with his parents, so I have tons of time to catch up on my blog, which I've really neglected lately. So I'll probably be writing again tomorrow. And hopefully Monday, if I have a new nephew!