ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch

How I'm feeling:



















What I probably have:

What my symptoms are (and this is the prettied-up WebMD version):

• Sharp pain in the back, sometimes going down the back of one or both legs, immediately upon or shortly after exertion or injury.
• Inability to bend or straighten your back, accompanied by severe pain.
• Gradual development of neck or lower-back pain, possibly intense on arising or when sneezing or coughing.
• Numbness or tingling in an arm or leg, and possibly a progressive loss of strength in one or both legs.

What we're going to do about it this afternoon: