To my Kate

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."

~Henri Nouwen

To my Kate: even though I know you're exasperated with me for posting about you, I just couldn't help it! Thank you for having that "gentle and tender hand." For not trying to fix it, for just nodding and listening, for making it better by helping me to enjoy life as it is right now. These are gifts you give me every day. May the Lord grant me abundant opportunities to give back to you. I love you!

(p.s. -- that's a wee baby girl nestling in her mama's growing belly!!!)

the holiday that makes me fidget...and well, thankful

I've changed my mind. No...I still feel the same way about Thanksgiving, y'all. For all those who know me and talk to me on a regular basis, you've probably already heard my "lecture" regarding this "holiday." Perhaps it's the small amount of Cherokee blood that runs in my veins that causes me to squirm, but I can't be wholly accepting of a celebration that most traditional Americans mark as a day of family togetherness and giving of thanks for blessings when the descendants of the true first Americans mark it as the beginning of their people's genocide. Ouch.

However, I have changed my mind about using this post to sound off about these (and other) bogus aspects of this day that we call Thanksgiving. Why? Because regardless of the (well-intentioned but recklessly abandoned) origins of this holiday, the truth of the matter is, I think we should all take advantage of any opportunity to count our blessings and raise up prayers of gratitude to the Giver of "every good and perfect gift." So, instead of stepping up boldly upon my soapbox of historical revisionism to purport truth instead of sentimentality (sheesh, I really can't help myself), I'm going to give thanks. I can just see my dear friends who adore this holiday sitting back with relieved smiles...

So what are the good and perfect gifts in my life? Well, I've got a cornucopia chock full of 'em!

• First, the supernatural and unmerited love of a Creator who came to this sin-cursed rock in the form of a blameless and beautiful man who died and then defeated death itself to give me redemption and eternal life. If this was the only gift handed down to this girl, she would have no excuse but to make every day of her life a joyful giving of thanks!!! (This is also why I scratch my head when similarly redeemed people don't share my enthusiasm for this other holiday...)
• My sweet Adam. Speaking of unmerited love...I really don't deserve the kind of loyal, steady, warm, caring, and compassionate love that this man has for me. It humbles me.
• My family. I could never speak highly enough of my parents, and would offer no criticism of them in any arena. They make the Lord's commandment to me to "honor them all the days of my life" so...easy. Maybe that's why I live literally 2.5 minutes from their front door and their welcoming arms...their genuine smiles upon seeing me and their true interest in my day, my job, my life...I'm never far from a reminder that I am one of the reasons that their world goes 'round. Who would want to move away from that??? And of course, my precious sisters, who I consider to be more like alternate versions of myself than separate people, and as such, would defend and protect with extreme survival instincts and love like my own flesh. And I'm not just saying that -- I told my sisters long ago if they ever need a kidney...
• My nieces and nephews. Oops, starting to feel teary-eyed... But I have to say this: they are my surrogate children. God, in His unfathomable wisdom, has refrained from blessing us with children of our own. He may with-hold this blessing forever or for just one more month, we simply don't know. But God is merciful, and to anyone who's ever dealt with infertility, I promise you this: where God shuts a door, He truly does open a window, and these babies are the glass panes through which God shines His merciful love into my lonely heart and empty arms. Want to see for yourself? Check out my face here. I can never express enough gratitude to my sister Sarah for so openly sharing her precious little brood with a sister simply drowning in her own maternal drives and desires.

Okay, so I'm starting to get uber-emotional and this post is getting ridiculously long, so I'll wrap it up, but I must give quick mentions to my other blessings...my friends who are scattered far and wide but whose love I feel surrounding me every day. My home, which I thought I would lose, but is now even more of a haven to me because I've been shown what a real gift it is. My church, the kids in our youth group, my Monday night Bible study group, my job (well, most days I'm thankful for it!). Dear Lord, I give you thanks for all these amazing things. Amen.

(honorable mentions go out to coffee, air, lemon-poppyseed muffins, morning doves, England, Josh Groban's voice...okay, enough is enough. Calling it a night.)

Oh, Mt. Squalor

If you need me, you know where to find me. If I don't return in the next 48 hours, send someone in after me.

Our laundry pile might swallow me whole. Does anyone else besides me have a hard time keeping up with the dirty clothes? And does any other husband besides mine call it "Mt. Squalor" when it's all piled together in one room, ready for color assignment?

The one good thing about my laundry logjam is I cleaned out and organized my laundry room on Saturday. At least when I'm tackling our current Mt. Squalor, I won't be surrounded by phone books from 2004, lamps without bulbs, socks without mates, spiderwebs, and lint balls anymore!

time for another plethora of randomness post

• Apparently, I'm popular in Florida. I started using a StatCounter for all the hits to my blog, and Florida, you're leading the way. Thank you for your patronage.

• This week is Thanksgiving. I'm going to be writing a post about this holiday. Fair warning: it won't be what you expect. Hint: I'm not a big fan of Thanksgiving, even though this is the equivalent of heresy in some circles.
• I love my husband. I don't say this often enough on my blog! But I do have to brag on him for just a second...on Saturday morning when I finally ventured downstairs to start some laundry, I found a huge bouquet of a dozen white roses on the kitchen table. I don't remember the last time something made me gasp, but that's exactly what I did. Such a surprise...such a sweet man. Our marriage has had its share of ups and downs this year, but we are in a very good place right now and I'm so blessed. Thank you, my love.
• I've re-injured myself. I am extremely bummed about this. Last night I went to pick up my almost 15-pound baby nephew in his almost 2-ton infant carrier (okay, I'm exaggerating obviously, but goodness, those things are HEFTY!), and something...happened in my back, right where I'd herniated a disk 2 months ago. It wasn't a pop or a snap or anything dramatic, just a searing pain right through that disk that shot jolts of follow-up pain up and down my leg. I paused, hoping that I'd just moved wrong and it would go away, but alas, as soon as I moved, I realized the pain was baaaaaa-aaaaaaack. I gave in and took a Vicodin last night (this is a big deal because weaning off of Vicodin was pretty awful last time around) and thankfully, I do feel a little more mobile and less crippled this morning. Here's hoping I've just aggravated a tender, still-healing spot and not herniated the disk again.
• Our Hispanic youth group is growing. On Friday, we had 17 kids show up to the Esperanza center. Adam and I are both excited and very nervous/overwhelmed by this; God is blessing this ministry in an abundant way, but we are beginning to realize that our resources (helpers, space, budget, etc.) really need to grow along with our attendance. We would appreciate your prayers!
• The Colts lost last night. We're no longer undefeated. This brings a surprising amount of sadness to my heart. This is the curse of being any kind of sports fan.

a sampling of posts from my favorite blogs

I want to give my blogging sistahs some guest traffic and also perhaps introduce some of my own readers to some great women out there in the blogdom who have such a heart for Jesus and who are also just fabulous, humorous writers!

This one from Sarah's blog, "In the Midst of It"

This one from Erin's blog, "Embracing My Cup"

This one from Amy's blog, "Amy's Humble Musings"

and this one from DeeDee's blog, "It Coulda Been Worse"

a close encounter of the racist kind

I've always loved this Norman Rockwell painting. It evokes so much in the heart of the beholder: the ugliness of hate, the purity of childhood innocence, and the shock that you experience when you see these things juxtapositioned.

I've been thinking about racism today. Not that I wanted to! Unfortunately, the thought was rather rudely thrust on me this morning when I pulled up behind a van in a turn lane. The light was extra long, so I began to take note of the bumper stickers on the van...got a little nervous when I saw the Confederate flag (never a good sign) but then I read this and about had the wind knocked out of me:

"Earth's Most Endangered Species? The White Man. Preserve Our Race."

Um, what's that you say??? I had to read it 3 or 4 times before the message even sunk in, I was so horrified to be reading what I was reading! Then I started to consider the message in that lovely little line. And it dawned on me...hey, wait a minute! That is talking about intermarriage among ethnicities and the procreation of children of mixed heritages! I was offended before that moment, but when I realized that I, a woman proudly married to a man of another race (he's a hottie Hispanic, I'll have you know), was the target of that bumper sticker, I felt road rage of a whole new variety.

So when the light turned green, I sped up a bit so I could be parallel with the driver -- I just had to get a look at this foul, hateful person. And of course, it was absolutely classic, almost cliche. The driver? An ancient old guy, wearing a hunting cap (with ear flaps no less), and a face that looked like he'd sucked on a lemon and it froze that way. I just stared at him, shooting daggers with my eyes. The sad part? He was probably thinking, what's that good, God-fearin' white girl doin' lookin' at me? I wanted to shout, Hey dude! My last name is Mancilla, and it's pronounced like tortilla!!!

my Zu-Zu's birthday

Inside the mind of a 3-year-old birthday princess...




















Does everyone have a party hat? Has everyone seen my pretty dress? Is there enough pink in the room? Are we all ready to play Ponies after the cake?







































...Look at all my presents, all my pretty pink presents.




















...Nanna, can I open one of them right now, right now, pretty please? Pretty Pony Please?




















...Okay, fine, I'll eat my pretty pink cake first. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...







































...At last, at last! Yay for birthday presents!




















...and my crazy Aunt B keeps bothering me for a picture. Okay, I'll pose for a second.

Incensed...

When I read this article just a few moments ago, I think I saw red for a brief flash of seconds. Seriously. I mean, SERIOUSLY. Refusing to do business with gay people...and saying that you're doing so for Christ??? May I please disown those folks from the brotherhood of Christians? Because if you read your Bible, the Lord Jesus Christ sought out society's outcasts and He spurned the so-called religious folks of the day!

What a shame. What a bloomin' SHAME. Because not only have these people ruined a perfectly good opportunity to show the love of Jesus to some clients, they have also made all us other Christians look bad. Once again. Okay, they are going into my file where the likes of Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson belong.

Dangit, I need to calm down.

I can't help it

I hate football. Hate it. I don't think anyone really understands the depths to which I despise football!

However, I must confess. I love the Colts. I don't know whether it's hometown Hoosier pride or just the fact that we've been underdogs for heaven knows how long, with several near-misses in past years (not unlike the beleaguered Pacers!), or if it's just pinch-his-cheeks adorable Peyton Manning. Or a combo of all the above. In any case, I surreptitiously watched several moments of last night's game. Then, today, I found myself clicking on the "Sports" link on MSNBC.com, then read -- with a smile on my face -- that 41% of people surveyed think the Colts will win the SuperBowl. Oh golly. Imagine that.

In any case, go Colts!!! If you can make a fan out of me, then that's sayin' something about how awesome you are!

Movie recommendation

don't know why I loved this movie. Clearly, it had continuity issues. Typically, I really don't like Keanu Reeves -- he inspires about the same amount of emotion in me as yesterday's coffee grounds.

However, this whole movie was like reading a poem. It was soft, light, cozy. It was sweet and touching. I loved it. I recommend it. If you watch it or have already seen it, tell me what you thought of it!

here they are, the demanded, er, requested pix!

I met some really cool celebrities the other night...

First of all, Buzz Lightyear!







































Then I must have stumbled somehow into the Hundred-Acre Wood, because I met a Heffalump and her companion, a dear favorite, Winnie-the-Pooh!








































and then, just when I thought the VIPs had all arrived, suddenly I spied the most rotund jack-o-lantern that ever was!




































It's hard work being Buzz...





















but not nearly as hard as corralling 4 small children for a picture!


















Show us the candy!!!



































Candy? What's dat?























Piggyback from Nanna and tickles from Pa-Pa!









































































Until next year...

Close sesame

So, I've been rather off the "bladar" (blogger radar...is that going too far with abbreviated terminology?) this last week but I have 2 excuses:

1) Blogger was being a SNIT about uploading photos, and since all the posts I want to write include photos, well, I just got disgusted with the whole process and decided to give Blogger the cold treatment.

2) Sesame seed oil. At least, we think it's the culprit. Here's the story:

Wednesday night was Adam's birthday, and I wanted to make a veggie stir-fry recipe I'd found in Real Simple magazine this month. I used ingredients that I bought a while back for a recipe and then haven't had an opportunity to use again, among them being rice wine vinegar and sesame seed oil.

We ate late and then watched a movie and then went straight to bed. I got up yesterday morning and saw very puffy eyes in the mirror and thought, good grief, what have I rubbed into them? I showed them to Adam and he said, take a Benadryl and it'll be okay, so I kissed him goodbye, went to the bathroom, started my shower, pulled my t-shirt off and nearly screamed when I caught a glance of my skin in the mirror. I had hives so thick on my chest that I looked sunburnt. And they were up and down my arms and I also realized, on my face (the puffiness was red upon closer examination). So I called my mom and asked her to please come down to my house immediately. Mom came and looked me over and appeared really befuddled and concerned. She made me take a Benadryl immediately and said, sit on that phone until you get ahold of the doctor. I called and they let me come into the office as an emergency. And then my chest started to feel tight. I told Mom I really didn't think it was anxiety because I was actually quite calm. When Dr. Records came in and heard that my throat was tingly and my chest was feeling heavy and tight, he took one look at my skin and immediately left the room. He came back with an inhaler and made me take 3 puffs to open my airways, just in case. Then they gave me a shot of steroids in my hip to kill the hives. We talked about what could have done this, and we just had to conclude that it was one of those cooking ingredients, since I've used all my other stuff (medicine, detergent, etc.) for YEARS. Dr. Records said he'd go with sesame oil as the culprit. A quick Google today has informed me that sesame seeds are the 4th highest food allergen (HUH? Who knew this???). So now I want to get an EpiPen, because sesame seeds and their oil are used in a ton of things and I don't know how much of a quantity of sesame oil constitutes an allergic reaction in my body??? Is it high, like frying all veggies and rice in it? Or will I break out/stop breathing if I have it in low quantity, like if I have a hamburger on a sesame-seed bun? This is scary!

Anyway, there's my excuses for not blogging lately. Just another chapter in Becky's medical drama book. Sigh.